Tell Her, Tell Him

Written by: Ray Davies

Published by: Davray Music, Ltd.


Tell her she is my guest, but my patience is waning
Tell him how dare he protest, he's the one who's complaining
Tell her be quiet and speak only when asked
Tell him I chose to ignore his remarks
Tell her she'll travel steerage (We'll travel first class)
If she doesn't tow the line (With every comfort you ask)
Tell her I always take meals alone
And always at regular times (Tell him my [?])
Tell him his presence offends me (She's allergic to cigars)
Tell him I'd rather starve
I'd rather sleep with the rats in my cabin in steerage
Than travel with him in first class
Tell her she's not obliged to be grateful (Tell him she is)
She [?] (full of hate)
Tell her that travel will broaden her mind
The same as it's narrowed his
Tell him he is pitiful (She admires you)
And I'm pleased to reciprocate (Such flattery too much and too late)
She is [?] (She is bored), she is [?]
Tell him spending a minute with him is eternal damnation
(She treasures every moment in your presence)
Another tedious moment with him, I'll explode with frustration
(She is overwhelmed to be in the same room with you)
Telling him, telling her, what a strange situation
Telling her, telling him, but avoid confrontation
With cooperation, collaboration
For me this journey around the world
Cooperation, collaboration around the world

Tell him that the days spent on this boat
Were ten days I will always detest (The journey was a sheer delight)
Tell her I'm tired of her sniveling ways
Tell her I couldn't care less (He says to travel with you is delightful)
Tell him good riddance, I'm glad he is gone
Tell her now we've unloaded the baggage, we can move on
He says farewell, she says good bye
She thanks him for all of his hospitality
He is so moved by her gratitude
He finds it impossible to speak
Tell him, tell her, tell him, tell her
Tell him, tell her, tell him, tell her
Collaboration around the world

Tell him three more days with him is more than I can swallow (She's feeling ill)
And tell her to stay here and rot away in Singapore (I'll be in Cairo)
Tell her her shamming(?) is slowing me down (He's concerned)
Tell her that I have a world to go around
Tell him he makes me depressed (Tell her I'm not impressed)
My death will be on his conscious (Then I will gladly confess)
Tell them stop this constant heartache
It will spoil my holiday
Cooperation, collaboration
We mustn't wait another day

Someone tell me where did I go wrong
I was in charge of this story 'till she came along
Telling him, telling her
We're terrified just in case I might say something wrong

Tell him I'll celebrate when he's gone (She'll be sad when you're gone)
Tell her her parting will suit me (And he will pursue)
Tell him he has no right to abandon me here
Tell him I think it my duty
Telling her, telling him, what a strange situation
Telling her, telling him, but avoid confrontation
Telling him, telling her, telling him
Telling him, telling her, telling him
But who's telling me I'm going round the world without a story
The time racing by when I'm wasting time
Telling him, telling her
Cooperation (tell him, tell her, tell him, tell her)
Collaboration (tell him, tell her, tell him, tell her)
Consideration (tell him, tell her) around the world
Cooperation, collaboration, consideration around the world

This song can be found on the following releases:

stereo mix, recorded 16 Mar, 1987 at (possibly) Calliope Studios, New York
80 Days (demos) 1987 UK Cassette
E-mail Dave Emlen